Top of the world - Colorado 3

When we left Estes Park I drove us 9 miles up a very steep and winding road, to the Chasm Falls (there will be photos on Tony's website in due course) which was so crowded with people skidding to a halt, trotting down the path and taking a quick snap and moving on again, that there was no chance of just enjoying the view. Tony was trying his new technique of photographing running water, which involves taking up a lot of space and lying, or standing, very still for a long time. Not long now, I kept telling people, just a few more seconds.... I am a very faithful and understanding photographer's assistant. I think I should get a certificate, if not a medal, even.


The road is one-way, so after you've done your bit at the waterfall you have to keep on for another 19 miles or so (at 15 miles an hour), as it gets steeper and steeper - and narrower. Luckily we wanted to go that way anyway, as we were on our way to Leadville, for the Independence Day Parade. The views were breathtaking. I am going to run out of adjectives very quickly on this holiday. There are not enough of them to do justice.


Here's a photo of Tony near the top. The white stuff by his feet is ice. You can see the road behind him, where it's levelled out and got easier. It was hard work driving. Total concentration plus elevation gain - by the time we got to the top I felt as if someone had been bashing me about the head repeatedly with a large firm object. Also my ears felt all clogged up (this does not count as a bodily fluid, Margot...) so when Tony eventually found me in the gift shop (I didn't realise he'd lost me, actually, but you know what boys are like in supermarkets, even very very small ones) and was waving his arms and mouthing something in an agitated fashion I had no idea what he was saying. I think he was accusing me of dithering, or wandering off, or somesuch. I was buying gifts, for god's sake... 


The food in the Alpine Visitors Centre is wonderful. I had freshly made chicken noodle soup followed by chile con carne... fantastic. Tony doesn't do soup. I feel his life is poorer for this fact, but he was happy with his sandwich. 

Altitude, altitude...

Margot says I'm not allowed to talk about bodily fluids any more, but I have to warn you about another little problem that you might encounter at 9,000 feet.

Do not bend over from the waist - which you might do if you want to take a close-up photo of a tiny plant with a lovely blue flower about the size of a pinhead which has captured your heart with its brave battle with the howling wind and lack of topsoil - because you will feel most peculiar when you bend back up again. Light-headed and not entirely of this world.

Ordinarily, if you were at sea-level (or even 6,000 feet, I discovered later) you might attempt the squat or crouch with some degree of certainty that you could hold it for long enough to focus the camera and get upright again unaided, but at 9,000 feet your knees are thighs are telling your brain 'do not even think about it. You're not going to be able to get down there, never mind get back up again...'

So if you want the photo badly enough, you will have to get down on your hands, knees and elbows, bum in the air. To get back up again without mechanical assistance you will need to do that first-knee-up, push up with hand, waggle bum around and grunt a bit thing until you get enough momentum going to get the second knee up and hope it will keep you going till you're upright, without falling over.

I think it was worth it,though.

Crocs in Colorado

Crocs are a form of footwear that no self-respecting adult over the age of, say, 30 should be seen wearing. Why would anyone choose to walk around with two lumps of primary-coloured plastic, shaped to fit a flat-footed elephant, stuck to their feet? How could a person of even average intelligence fall for such an obvious money-spinning con?


I was visiting Maggie and bemoaning the loss of my much-loved Nike sandals that they don't make any more, and she said 'Would you like some Crocs? I have some that are too big for me, they might fit you.' 


'Phtooey-crumph' I replied, aiming for polite non-committal, missing by a mile and hitting disdain and distaste.


'They are khaki green', she said, "not tangerine or petunia. And they are not made of plastic'. 


"No, I don't think so, really, thanks very much anyway, but....'


Why don't you just try them on' she said, more than once. So eventually, just to shut her up, I did.


People, they are lovely. It's like walking on two bits of sponge. Soft, but firm. Lots of room for toe spreading. Not the least bit sweaty. Easy to slip on an off. Cope well with many different surfaces, including stony paths...


I don't care what people like me think about them any more.


The only drawback so far is they don't cope too well with rain - at least not the torrential, thunderous, sheeting downpours that we have been having daily for the past three weeks. That makes them go a wee bit slippy/slidey.